If You're Tired Today

I’m not going to lie to you. I’m tired. I’m spent. I have nothing left to give.

I’ve sat here trying to muster up some words, but there’s nothing there. I’ve just about reached my limit of whining, fighting, and crying kids. Honestly, all I want to do is drink a very large glass of wine and get lost in a good book.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

But before I go, if there is a chance that you are feeling the same way, read this passage and remember that the story isn’t finished. My story isn’t finished. My kids’ stories aren’t finished.

Your story isn’t finished. Whatever happened yesterday, rest today in HIM!

Isaiah 40:31 (The Message)

 Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
 or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
 He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.  He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
 And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
 gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
 young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
 They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
 they walk and don't lag behind.

There is a key word in this passage that is easy to miss. It says, “But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.” This is interesting, because I usually wait for God, not on Him. There’s a difference. If we are waiting for God, we are waiting for Him to do something for us. We’re waiting for action and results. It is in this state that we pace the halls, lie awake at night, and wrestle with doubts.

If we are waiting on God, we’re resting in who He is, not what He can do for us.

Are you tired today? Do you feel like a failure? Do you feel like you aren’t the mom, wife, friend, woman you wish you could be? Stop trying. Stop waiting for God to change your circumstances, and just simply be still in his presence.

Your story isn’t finished. Rest today in HIM!

What IF...?

She’s only seven years old.  And it feels like only yesterday I held her in my arms for the first time. That moment when I was somehow entrusted with this fragile life. That moment when suddenly the fear of losing her became my constant companion. So how is it possible that I am walking her down the terminal where I will entrust her to a stranger’s arms for the next two hours, thousands of miles up in the air?

She looks up at me, trying to be brave, but unable to contain the tears that drop like daggers into my soul.           

“I’m just going to miss you so much,” she whispers as the flight attendant reaches out to take her hand.”

I smile and tell her everything will be okay. “You’re going to have so much fun,” I say while fighting the urge to whisk her straight back to the car.

What I don’t tell her is how I laid awake for hours the night before imagining every possible thing that could go wrong. I don’t tell her that my stomach is knotted in fear and my heart is breaking in two. I don’t tell her that I’m afraid the plane will crash, the wrong person will pick her up on the other side, or that I’ll never see her again.

I don’t tell her any of this.

Instead, I tell her I love her. I smile. I kiss her. I say good-bye. And then I wait.

It’s always in the waiting that doubt creeps in. It’s always in the waiting that God asks the question we can avoid in our busyness.

“Do you trust Me?”

Yes, but what if THIS happens…

“Do you trust Me?”

Yes, but what if THAT happens…

It’s in the waiting that we have a choice. I can either choose to let my imagination run wild, or I can choose to believe that God is in control. It’s the same choice I have each and every day. Do I really believe that God is in control? Do you believe that God is in control? When you lie awake at night going through your “what if” list, and panic sets in, do you believe God is in control? When you watch the news and the world spins out of control, do you believe God is in control? When life falls short of your expectations, do you believe God is in control? When the questions outweigh the answers, do you believe God is in control?

When we don’t believe God is in control, we worry. I’ve been worrying for almost eight years.

And her life isn’t in my control any more than it was on the day she breathed her first breath.

Luke 12:25
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?

I’ve wasted so much time worrying. Life is too short to waste the moments we’ve been given. Trusting God means living fully today, believing that he’s big enough to take care of what happens tomorrow. Worrying steals the joy out of life. I want to trust God completely so I can live this life abundantly.

Psalm 56:3-4, 10-11

But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?

This I know: God is on my side! I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?

She calls me from the airport.

She’s out of breath with excitement, and I’m breathing for the first time in two hours.

In the Tomb

Go back for a little while and remember the dreams you had for your life as a little girl. What did you imagine your life would look like? Who did you hope you would be? What grand goals did you promise yourself you would accomplish? 

Now look at your life today—in this very moment. Do the two pictures add up?  Probably not. What dreams have been shattered? What goals were swept away in the storms of the passing years? What image of yourself have you not lived up to? These are important questions to ask ourselves. If we want to live, and I mean really live, then we have to look life straight in the eye and embrace how short it has fallen from our expectations. Life has a way of wringing out our hearts like a wet rag. Time is often like an anchor dragging through the sand, etching the past into an unforgettable trail behind us. At least that’s how I feel a lot of the time. 

If we’re honest with ourselves, we will admit that life as we know it ain’t so swell most of the time. Even in those moments where everything feels good--you know, those moments when you look into your newborn baby’s eyes, say I Do, watch the stars come out at night, catch a glimpse of a butterfly taking flight, or sit beneath the shade of a giant oak tree, there is still a longing for more. Those moments don’t last. Security is so unstable. Pain is always lurking in the shadows.

Jesus offers us Life. But our disappointments rise out of unmet expectations. We want to be happy. The Life that Jesus offers isn’t necessarily happiness.  This is part of that life, but that’s not where it’s found. The Life Jesus gives just might be found in the last place we would think to look. Life is found in death. The bad news: Death isn’t fun. The good news: Jesus has the power to give us a resurrected life. Not a life that feels good all of the time. Not a life that always goes our way. I’m talking about real, lasting, does not change based on our circumstances, amazing, no turning back kind of Life. Life doesn’t show up on the mountain of happiness. Rather, we find it in the depths of our brokenness, the slime of our sinfulness, and the anguish of our hopelessness. Life is offered in exchange for a beat up, wrung out, soul-sick mess.

Lazarus found real life. Yet he found it in the most unexpected place: a tomb. It was in the midst of the darkness, the disappointment, the fear, and the hopelessness that Jesus offered him LIFE. He is offering it to you today.

John 11:25 (The Message)

You don't have to wait for the End. I am, right now, Resurrection and Life. The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live.

Have you ever found yourself in a tomb?  Maybe you’re in one right now. Sometimes the circumstances of life encompass our hearts in the shroud of a grave. Other times we wrap ourselves in the darkness of our own sin and despair. Either way, we can’t escape the reality that there’s nothing worse than being buried alive. It’s in a tomb, however, that we realize what being alive actually means. For many of us, we think we’re alive, but in reality we’re walking around lifeless, unresponsive…as good as dead. 

“What’s the point,” we whisper to ourselves in the dark.  “Life is just one disappointment after another.” 

Have you ever felt like this? The tombs of life are the places we ask ourselves, and God, the questions that seem too dangerous out in the open. 

Jesus didn’t leave Lazarus in the tomb. He called his name, and his life was never the same.

John 11:43
Then Jesus shouted, “Lazarus, come out!”

What tomb are you hiding in today?

Shame…Failure…Rejection…Disappointment…Guilt…Fear…Depression…

Jesus is calling your name today. Come out of your tomb. Come out and live!

Journey to the Cross

If you are looking for a way to draw your children into the arms of Jesus this Easter, here is a 12-day devotional for you. It begins in Genesis and ends in Revelation, showing how the cross is everywhere in the Bible. The cross is not just something we celebrate and remember merely at Easter, but rather it is the very essence of life.

I pray that both you and your kids will be captivated by God's story and his relentless pursuit of your hearts. And as you journey to the cross, may the eyes of your hearts be opened to this glorious God who desperately wants to dwell with his people.

Click to print "Journey to the Cross"

Blessings,
Melissa

The Choice

The alarm goes off way too early. I groggily set the snooze button again, all of my aspirations to get up early slinking away with my dreams. The pitter patter resonating through the walls tells me that six little feet are already up and running around. Hungry bellies call. A fight erupts as someone accuses someone else of another heinous crime. Stealing. Lying. Hitting. Looking. It could be any one of these atrocities. The looking at each other is one that seems to create the most havoc. Her plea for justice will assail me as soon as I enter the kitchen. Yet for some reason, my verdict is never good enough. Not being fair is one of my most recognized attributes. I sigh, looking at the clock to see how many more hours until bed time. Only twelve. I can do this.

I open the curtains, and my heart sinks at the sight of the street cloaked in a shroud of white. So much for getting all that energy out at the park. The drudge of winter settles deeper in my heart with every snowflake that falls. What I wouldn’t give for a beach right now. What I wouldn’t give for a margarita. Wait…should I be thinking about margaritas at 7 am?

The kitchen greets me with three precious smiles and one giant mess. Cheerios blanket the floor. Milk lines the table. The voice in the back of my mind tells me that a good mom would have woken up earlier. A good mom would have made them oatmeal, bright eyed and smiling, with devotions for their hearts and fresh squeezed juice for their brains. But all I can see is that mess, which gives me one more thing to do on this snowy, dreary, same as every other, day.

My tea brews as the wind howls, its grip threatening to rip the house apart. Another fight erupts. This time the victim takes it upon herself to hand out justice. A good kick to the back ought to do it, she decides. I grip the counter and bite my tongue. How many more hours?

Sometimes Curious George is a really good babysitter. He’s free and he doesn’t ask any questions.

I crawl back to bed while George takes over downstairs.

The day looms before me. Oh, if only summer was here. If only they were all in school. If only my husband didn’t travel. If only we had a bigger house. If only we had more money so we could go somewhere warm—right now. If only I was a better mom. If only God had given me what I wanted. If only…….the list is quite lengthy.

That’s when I remember. That’s when the gentle voice of Truth beckons me yet again.

“Come to ME, and I will give you REST!”

Oh, how easily I forget. Oh, IF ONLY He was the first place I ran.

I’m reading through Psalms. Probably not a coincidence that this is the verse I read today.

The people refused to enter the pleasant land, for they wouldn’t believe His promise to care for them. Instead, they grumbled in their tents and refused to obey the Lord. Psalm 106:24-25

Oh, the tenderness of my Savior, wrapping this message up so sweetly for me—on this day—in His word!

They refused to enter the pleasant land! It was a choice, and they politely declined.

In Joshua 1:13, Joshua tells the people about this pleasant land that their fathers chose not to enter. He says, “The Lord your God is giving you a place of REST. He has given you this land.”

The Promised Land isn’t a place free from trouble or hardship.  It isn’t a new job, house, or situation. After all, the land flowing with milk and honey is bound to have some spilled milk in it, don’t you think? The Promised Land isn’t a place we arrive when everything in life finally falls into place and we get everything we want.  The Promised Land is REST.

Rest is a choice. It’s not dependent on my circumstances. It’s not dependent on the weather. Or if my life is turning out the way I thought it would.

REST is the place we come when we actually believe that God is for us and trust in His promise to care for us, regardless of the chaos around us.

I close my Bible, relish in my Savior’s Presence, and start the day again. George is relieved from his duties, and I see the mess downstairs through new eyes. The kids still fight. My disappointments still remain. The wind still howls. The snow still falls. My husband is still out of town.

But I have a choice today. For the next twelve hours, I can grumble in my tent, or I can enter the pleasant land. I choose REST!

Which will you choose?

Hooked

When I was in third grade, I vividly remember playing the same game every day at recess.  It was called “boys chase the girls”.  Yeah, real creative name, right?  Well, just as the name describes, the boys would chase the girls all around the playground, and we would scream and cry, “No, leave us alone!”  There was one time when a teacher came up to us and told the boys to stop.  She said, “Can’t you hear them?  They’re asking you to stop.”   I remember looking up at her and saying, “No, we don’t want them to stop.  It’s fun.”

From the time we are little girls, the desire to be pursued is profoundly ingrained into our hearts.  There is something fun indeed about being chased by someone who desires you.  We enter into adulthood with these same desires, hoping that the man of our dreams will chase us, catch us, and carry us away.  If he’s smart enough, he’ll know that the running away is merely part of the game. 

Whatever you are going through today, you are loved. You are loved by a King who bears your name on His nail-scarred hands. It’s a make your knees tremble, heart skip a beat, do crazy things kind of love.  And He is zealously, passionately, and jealously pursuing your heart.  Right now.  Right here.  HE WANTS YOU TO BE HIS AND HIS ALONE!!!!

The problem is we like to run.  After all, it is part of the game, right?

“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders.” Luke 15:4-5

I struggle fully understanding the imagery of Jesus as my shepherd. Every sermon I’ve ever heard on it highlights the fact that sheep are stupid. They wander around, getting into trouble because they are too dumb to stay focused. Shepherds use their crooks to catch straying sheep.  The curve at the top of the crook is just the right size to fit around a sheep’s neck.  When we think of Jesus as our shepherd, this image often comes to mind.  We picture a man who is constantly grabbing those trouble-making sheep who can’t seem to get their act together.  There have certainly been times when I’ve been caught red-handed wandering to who knows where.  I can wake up in the morning determined to stay on course, but it seems like something always draws me away.  Whether it’s a thought that reminds me of the hurt I’ve experienced, or the temptation to surrender to pride and selfishness, I so easily wander away from who I am created to be.  Sometimes I run ahead of God, telling Him which way to turn because I’m pretty sure He doesn’t know where He is going.  And then there is always the tendency to think that I can do things on my own.  I’ve experienced the discipline of being pulled back to where I belong.  It doesn’t feel good, but I’m glad I have a shepherd watching out for me.

If we only see Jesus as the one who keeps us in line, though, we’ve missed the point.  There is a difference between being caught and being hooked.  The word hooked means, “To be captivated by or devoted to.”  How do you view Jesus?  Is the staff that leads and protects you one that must always be catching you?  Or are you hooked?  Are you captivated by the love that He freely offers you?

I want to be more than just caught by His embrace.  I want to be so hooked that I won’t ever want to wander away again.

Isaiah 40:11

He will feed His flock like a shepherd.  He will carry the lambs in His arms, holding them close to His heart.  He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.

Are you doubting God’s love today? Are you struggling with disappointment or loneliness? Are you tired, frustrated, and let down? Are you unsure of your worth?

Let Him carry you in His arms, close to His heart. For that is where you belong.

Detours and Dead Ends

The curtains were picked. The paint colors were chosen. The garden was planned. The chicken coop was designed. The papers were signed…our offer was strong. I even had my facebook update ready.

Driving home from the gym, smiling at glistening snow while children sang along to the music, that’s when the call came. That’s when I got the answer to my earnest prayers.

NO again. It seems that that is the only answer we ever get. No…No…No…

I had told myself over and over not to hold on too tightly to this dream. Yet deep down I could not deny how devastated I would be if it didn’t happen. I told God that I would praise Him regardless. I did. I praised Him because I know who He is. He doesn’t play games. He doesn’t dangle carrots in front of us and watch us chase them, even though it seems like it sometimes. His plans are good for our life. His dreams are big for our family.

My praise didn’t feel complete, though. I couldn’t escape the nagging feeling that God had made a mistake this time. Didn’t He realize how much I wanted it? Couldn’t He see how ideal the location would be for ministry? We had prayed for months for this house specifically. The doors kept opening. Why does He always lead me straight into disappointment?

I was reminded, as I often am, of the Israelites standing hopelessly before the Red Sea.

When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through the Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land…So God led them in a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea Exodus13:17-18

What?  A roundabout way through the wilderness!  If you look at a map of ancient Egypt, you will notice that in order to get from Egypt to Canaan, the people did not need to travel anywhere close to the Red Sea.  It’s a straight shot along the Mediterranean Sea, which should have taken around eleven days.  But God didn’t take them the easy way.  In fact, as soon as they thought they were out of harm’s way, he actually made them turn around and change course.  Can you imagine the thoughts racing through their minds—the questions, the doubts, the fears encircling their anxious hearts? 

Here they are on their way to the culmination of centuries of dreams, and God says, “Actually, can you please go back.  Trust me, I know what I’m doing, but I want you to head right back to Pharaoh.”

Umm…yeah right!  I don’t know about you, but my response may have sounded something more like, “No way, Mister!” 

Surely God didn’t really know what he was doing, right?  How often do I accuse him of ignorance in my life?  In my anguish I cry out, “If you only knew what was going on…If you could only see what I see…”  Sounds crazy, but it’s what we do.  It’s what the Israelites did.  But can you blame them?  Basically, they found themselves in the worst situation possible.  Rugged mountains blocked their way on either side.  The Red Sea loomed in front while the Egyptians shouted from behind.  No way across, and no way to run back; God had led them straight into a dead end.

Talk about a serious disappointment. 

In my own disappointment, God probed my heart once again with the mystery of this story. I responded with questions. “Why does it have to be about your glory?” “Why can’t you give me something just because I want it?” “Why do you have to lead us to the Red Sea when there is an easier route?”

In the midst of my questions, I found this verse:

Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the mighty waters—a pathway no one knew was there! Psalm 77:19

Does God actually lead us to disappointment? That’s often how I view my life. He leads us to disappointment and then comes through at the last minute to prove once again how faithful He is. But this verse made me see things differently.

God never viewed the Red Sea as a disappointment. It was the people who made it into one. God didn’t make something good happen out of something bad. The Red Sea was something good. While the Israelites saw their dreams dissipate, God saw the path there all along. In God’s eyes, the Red Sea wasn’t an obstacle. It wasn’t a setback. It wasn’t the loss of a dream. IT WAS THE DREAM—A bigger dream than the people could have ever conjured up on their own.

What if I really believed that God wants what’s best for me? What if I really trusted Him enough to stop questioning His goodness? What if I began to view the Red Sea not as a disappointment, but rather as the pathway to a dream bigger than I can see right now?

What disappointments are you facing right now?

What if you believed that maybe, just maybe, there is a pathway only God can see? Can you trust Him enough to praise Him before He parts the water?