The curtains were picked. The paint colors were chosen. The garden was planned. The chicken coop was designed. The papers were signed…our offer was strong. I even had my facebook update ready.
Driving home from the gym, smiling at glistening snow while children sang along to the music, that’s when the call came. That’s when I got the answer to my earnest prayers.
NO again. It seems that that is the only answer we ever get. No…No…No…
I had told myself over and over not to hold on too tightly to this dream. Yet deep down I could not deny how devastated I would be if it didn’t happen. I told God that I would praise Him regardless. I did. I praised Him because I know who He is. He doesn’t play games. He doesn’t dangle carrots in front of us and watch us chase them, even though it seems like it sometimes. His plans are good for our life. His dreams are big for our family.
My praise didn’t feel complete, though. I couldn’t escape the nagging feeling that God had made a mistake this time. Didn’t He realize how much I wanted it? Couldn’t He see how ideal the location would be for ministry? We had prayed for months for this house specifically. The doors kept opening. Why does He always lead me straight into disappointment?
I was reminded, as I often am, of the Israelites standing hopelessly before the Red Sea.
When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through the Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land…So God led them in a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea Exodus13:17-18
What? A roundabout way through the wilderness! If you look at a map of ancient Egypt, you will notice that in order to get from Egypt to Canaan, the people did not need to travel anywhere close to the Red Sea. It’s a straight shot along the Mediterranean Sea, which should have taken around eleven days. But God didn’t take them the easy way. In fact, as soon as they thought they were out of harm’s way, he actually made them turn around and change course. Can you imagine the thoughts racing through their minds—the questions, the doubts, the fears encircling their anxious hearts?
Here they are on their way to the culmination of centuries of dreams, and God says, “Actually, can you please go back. Trust me, I know what I’m doing, but I want you to head right back to Pharaoh.”
Umm…yeah right! I don’t know about you, but my response may have sounded something more like, “No way, Mister!”
Surely God didn’t really know what he was doing, right? How often do I accuse him of ignorance in my life? In my anguish I cry out, “If you only knew what was going on…If you could only see what I see…” Sounds crazy, but it’s what we do. It’s what the Israelites did. But can you blame them? Basically, they found themselves in the worst situation possible. Rugged mountains blocked their way on either side. The Red Sea loomed in front while the Egyptians shouted from behind. No way across, and no way to run back; God had led them straight into a dead end.
Talk about a serious disappointment.
In my own disappointment, God probed my heart once again with the mystery of this story. I responded with questions. “Why does it have to be about your glory?” “Why can’t you give me something just because I want it?” “Why do you have to lead us to the Red Sea when there is an easier route?”
In the midst of my questions, I found this verse:
Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the mighty waters—a pathway no one knew was there! Psalm 77:19
Does God actually lead us to disappointment? That’s often how I view my life. He leads us to disappointment and then comes through at the last minute to prove once again how faithful He is. But this verse made me see things differently.
God never viewed the Red Sea as a disappointment. It was the people who made it into one. God didn’t make something good happen out of something bad. The Red Sea was something good. While the Israelites saw their dreams dissipate, God saw the path there all along. In God’s eyes, the Red Sea wasn’t an obstacle. It wasn’t a setback. It wasn’t the loss of a dream. IT WAS THE DREAM—A bigger dream than the people could have ever conjured up on their own.
What if I really believed that God wants what’s best for me? What if I really trusted Him enough to stop questioning His goodness? What if I began to view the Red Sea not as a disappointment, but rather as the pathway to a dream bigger than I can see right now?
What disappointments are you facing right now?
What if you believed that maybe, just maybe, there is a pathway only God can see? Can you trust Him enough to praise Him before He parts the water?
5 comments:
"His dreams are BIG for our family"
love this so much.
So bummed. So sorry. But so filled with admiration that you choose to look at the bigger story. Thanks for being an inspiration. On the journey with you...
As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs...you have had many a valleys of late. I am sorry that it didn't work out. But waiting to see how God will bring it full-circle in your lives.
Perhaps...CHARLOTTE??? :-) Would LOVE to have you back! Miss you, sweet friend!!!
I'm a bit behind on my reading because of the busyness of life but today, of all days, as yet another friend announces her pregnancy and I feel, yet again, as though God has told us no. But yet this devotional is just a perfect, God-inspired reminder that He has not necessarily told us no but has led us down another path, a path only He can see! Thank you for all you do!
I feel as if this reminder will be coming in handy very soon. as my hubby embarks on interview after interview in our upcoming venture I will need to remember that God is in control of it all! Thanks You!
-The nerd
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