Shackled by Fear

I’ve been paralyzed by fear lately. It keeps me awake at night. It haunts me during the day. A life-sucking grip has held me captive for weeks now.

God is asking me to do something bold. He’s asking me to do something risky.

Want to know the scandalous part? What he’s asking me to do is contrary to the Christian culture I’m immersed in. I’ve been told that what I am about to do will ruin my children. I’ve been talked about behind my back. I’ve been criticized, judged, warned, and ridiculed.

Bet you’re on the edge of your seat, just dying to know what this radical thing is that I’m about to do. Ready for it?

I’m putting my kids in a PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!

And all the things people have said to me have allowed fear to slowly take control.

But I can’t give in. That voice that I know so well has called me yet again. His voice is the one that must reign above all the others; and believe me, there are plenty others. While we keep our mouths closed in most areas of parenting opinions, the topic of where we send our kids to school seems to be an open firing range.

This is not a post about how your kids should be schooled, though. I honestly don’t have an opinion about where you should send your kids to school. I do, however, have a lot to say on what fear can do to the heart of a mother who wants the best for her children. I know those fears that keep you awake at night. They are my fears too. And they will eat us alive.

God is asking our family to be a light in our community. He's revealed a specific plan about how to reach our neighbors through the school. It's going to take guts. It's going to take a God-sized dream and God-empowered strength. I’ve fought him time and time again because too often I allow fear to determine my steps.

But this isn’t a post about where my kids are going to school.

This is a post about the greatness of my God!

I’ve brought my fears to His throne time and time again. And time and time again his answer remains the same.

“Do you believe I’m big enough?”

Do I? Do I really believe He’s big enough? Do I really believe that His dreams for my family are bigger than anything I can imagine? Do I really believe that He is who He says He is, and that is ENOUGH?

The other day, just when I thought the fear would swallow me whole, this is the passage God gave me.

Isaiah 8:11-14

The Lord has given me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does.

He said, “Don’t call everything a conspiracy, like they do, and don’t live in dread of what frightens them. 

Make the Lord of Heaven’s Armies holy in your life.

He is the one you should fear.

He is the one who should make you tremble.  He will keep you safe.

A lot of things make me tremble. But this says that there’s only one thing that should make me tremble. The thing about fear is, it’s just a big waste of time. It holds us captive; and instead of protecting us from danger, it keeps us from living. I’ve spent too much time in a prison cell of fear. I want to start living. I want to trust that my God really is big enough to carry out His plans for my life and for my family.

What are you afraid of today? What security are you clinging to today that God is asking you to let go of? What is making your heart tremble?

Do you believe He’s big enough?