Diamond in the Rough

I’m in love.

I have all the symptoms. I can’t sleep at night. I can’t talk about anything else. I catch myself day dreaming when I should be working. I’m finding excuses to sneak a visit. I’m just hopelessly in love and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Some of you will think I’m materialistic. Others of you will understand completely. I’ll tell you either way…I’m in love with a house! It’s not just any house, mind you. It’s a house that my husband and I have been dreaming of for ten years. It’s a house I’ve hunted for the past four years. It’s not just any house. It’s my house.

Do you remember a few months ago, when I thought that maybe God made a mistake. Remember that house that I thought I wanted? Well, I was wrong. God gave me something better, and I am absolutely madly and wildly in love.

The funny thing, though, is that if you were to see it, you probably wouldn’t see I see. They say love is blind. Well, let’s just say it’s not the prettiest thing right now. At least, that’s probably what you would think if you saw it.

You would see a mess. You would see a lot of work. You might even think that we’re crazy.

You would see broken windows in the upstairs bedroom. But I see a view of my kids playing on the tire swing.

You would see orange walls with black trim in the living room. I see our family playing games together on Sunday nights. I see us gathered around the fire on cold winter nights.

You would see an outdated kitchen missing some necessary appliances. I see a room that’s filled with friends. I see our table at Thanksgiving, overflowing with food and surrounded by people hungry for friendship.

You might see chipped paint, stained carpet, and old wallpaper. I see every room with new floors, new paint, and a new beginning.

You might see a daunting task. I see the hope of what is yet to be.

They say love is blind. But maybe it’s not that love is blind as much as that love sees not simply what is, but what can be.

I don’t see a run-down house. I see the fulfillment of years of dreaming. I don’t see the years of neglect and damage. I see what this house will be when I am finished with it. I’ve calculated the cost. I know the effort it’s going to take, and my back already aches with the hours I’ve already labored for this dream. But I don’t see just a run-down house.

I see a diamond in the rough.

As I sit in the car, waiting for the light to turn green, my mind wanders once again to paint colors and counter tops. Another trip to Home Depot. Another day of back-breaking work picking up the debris scattered across the property. And my heart surges with joy.

That’s when the Master Crafstman—the King of New Beginnings, whispers something in my ear that blows me away.

“The way you see this house, Melissa…that’s how I see you. Where the world sees brokenness, I see a view of you living in the fullness of who I’ve created you to be. Where the world sees failure and hopelessness, I see the fulfillment of the dreams I’ve had from the beginning. Others might see the parts that are run-down, outdated, and imperfect…but I see who you really are.”

“I see who you will be when I am finished with you.”

Isn’t that the beauty of our stories? He isn’t finished yet. He has a dream for my life. He has a dream for your life. No matter how run-down and hopeless we might feel or look, He doesn’t see that. He isn’t finished. And He’s got some big plans.

Isaiah 62:3-4

The LORD will hold you in his hand for all to see—a splendid crown in the hand of God.

Never again will you be called “The Forsaken City” or “The Desolate Land.”

Your new name will be “The City of God’s Delight” and “The Bride of God.”

For the LORD delights in you and will claim you as his bride.

God loves you now, in the midst of your brokenness. In the midst of your mess. And rebuilding you is his delight. He has big dreams for your life, and every step in the process is precious to him.

I really love my house. I love it now, in the midst of its brokenness. We didn’t want a perfect house. We wanted a house that would have our tears, our sweat, and our love ingrained in it. We wanted a house that would reflect who we are. When you visit my house, my hope is that you’ll see me in it. I hope you see my house and say, “That’s so you, Melissa.”

God’s purpose is to make us into a reflection of who He is. His tears, His sweat, His love is ingrained in us. The task of making us new is not daunting. In fact, He can’t wait to show you to this world—a splendid crown in his hand. And then maybe, the world will turn and look at us and say, “Wow, that’s so God!”

However you are feeling today. Whatever mess your life is in. It’s time to see yourself differently. You are a crown in the hand of God. You are His delight, His bride, His dream.

You are His Diamond in the Rough!

Shackled by Fear

I’ve been paralyzed by fear lately. It keeps me awake at night. It haunts me during the day. A life-sucking grip has held me captive for weeks now.

God is asking me to do something bold. He’s asking me to do something risky.

Want to know the scandalous part? What he’s asking me to do is contrary to the Christian culture I’m immersed in. I’ve been told that what I am about to do will ruin my children. I’ve been talked about behind my back. I’ve been criticized, judged, warned, and ridiculed.

Bet you’re on the edge of your seat, just dying to know what this radical thing is that I’m about to do. Ready for it?

I’m putting my kids in a PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!

And all the things people have said to me have allowed fear to slowly take control.

But I can’t give in. That voice that I know so well has called me yet again. His voice is the one that must reign above all the others; and believe me, there are plenty others. While we keep our mouths closed in most areas of parenting opinions, the topic of where we send our kids to school seems to be an open firing range.

This is not a post about how your kids should be schooled, though. I honestly don’t have an opinion about where you should send your kids to school. I do, however, have a lot to say on what fear can do to the heart of a mother who wants the best for her children. I know those fears that keep you awake at night. They are my fears too. And they will eat us alive.

God is asking our family to be a light in our community. He's revealed a specific plan about how to reach our neighbors through the school. It's going to take guts. It's going to take a God-sized dream and God-empowered strength. I’ve fought him time and time again because too often I allow fear to determine my steps.

But this isn’t a post about where my kids are going to school.

This is a post about the greatness of my God!

I’ve brought my fears to His throne time and time again. And time and time again his answer remains the same.

“Do you believe I’m big enough?”

Do I? Do I really believe He’s big enough? Do I really believe that His dreams for my family are bigger than anything I can imagine? Do I really believe that He is who He says He is, and that is ENOUGH?

The other day, just when I thought the fear would swallow me whole, this is the passage God gave me.

Isaiah 8:11-14

The Lord has given me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does.

He said, “Don’t call everything a conspiracy, like they do, and don’t live in dread of what frightens them. 

Make the Lord of Heaven’s Armies holy in your life.

He is the one you should fear.

He is the one who should make you tremble.  He will keep you safe.

A lot of things make me tremble. But this says that there’s only one thing that should make me tremble. The thing about fear is, it’s just a big waste of time. It holds us captive; and instead of protecting us from danger, it keeps us from living. I’ve spent too much time in a prison cell of fear. I want to start living. I want to trust that my God really is big enough to carry out His plans for my life and for my family.

What are you afraid of today? What security are you clinging to today that God is asking you to let go of? What is making your heart tremble?

Do you believe He’s big enough?