If You're Tired Today

I’m not going to lie to you. I’m tired. I’m spent. I have nothing left to give.

I’ve sat here trying to muster up some words, but there’s nothing there. I’ve just about reached my limit of whining, fighting, and crying kids. Honestly, all I want to do is drink a very large glass of wine and get lost in a good book.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

But before I go, if there is a chance that you are feeling the same way, read this passage and remember that the story isn’t finished. My story isn’t finished. My kids’ stories aren’t finished.

Your story isn’t finished. Whatever happened yesterday, rest today in HIM!

Isaiah 40:31 (The Message)

 Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
 or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
 He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.  He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
 And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
 gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
 young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
 They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
 they walk and don't lag behind.

There is a key word in this passage that is easy to miss. It says, “But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.” This is interesting, because I usually wait for God, not on Him. There’s a difference. If we are waiting for God, we are waiting for Him to do something for us. We’re waiting for action and results. It is in this state that we pace the halls, lie awake at night, and wrestle with doubts.

If we are waiting on God, we’re resting in who He is, not what He can do for us.

Are you tired today? Do you feel like a failure? Do you feel like you aren’t the mom, wife, friend, woman you wish you could be? Stop trying. Stop waiting for God to change your circumstances, and just simply be still in his presence.

Your story isn’t finished. Rest today in HIM!

What IF...?

She’s only seven years old.  And it feels like only yesterday I held her in my arms for the first time. That moment when I was somehow entrusted with this fragile life. That moment when suddenly the fear of losing her became my constant companion. So how is it possible that I am walking her down the terminal where I will entrust her to a stranger’s arms for the next two hours, thousands of miles up in the air?

She looks up at me, trying to be brave, but unable to contain the tears that drop like daggers into my soul.           

“I’m just going to miss you so much,” she whispers as the flight attendant reaches out to take her hand.”

I smile and tell her everything will be okay. “You’re going to have so much fun,” I say while fighting the urge to whisk her straight back to the car.

What I don’t tell her is how I laid awake for hours the night before imagining every possible thing that could go wrong. I don’t tell her that my stomach is knotted in fear and my heart is breaking in two. I don’t tell her that I’m afraid the plane will crash, the wrong person will pick her up on the other side, or that I’ll never see her again.

I don’t tell her any of this.

Instead, I tell her I love her. I smile. I kiss her. I say good-bye. And then I wait.

It’s always in the waiting that doubt creeps in. It’s always in the waiting that God asks the question we can avoid in our busyness.

“Do you trust Me?”

Yes, but what if THIS happens…

“Do you trust Me?”

Yes, but what if THAT happens…

It’s in the waiting that we have a choice. I can either choose to let my imagination run wild, or I can choose to believe that God is in control. It’s the same choice I have each and every day. Do I really believe that God is in control? Do you believe that God is in control? When you lie awake at night going through your “what if” list, and panic sets in, do you believe God is in control? When you watch the news and the world spins out of control, do you believe God is in control? When life falls short of your expectations, do you believe God is in control? When the questions outweigh the answers, do you believe God is in control?

When we don’t believe God is in control, we worry. I’ve been worrying for almost eight years.

And her life isn’t in my control any more than it was on the day she breathed her first breath.

Luke 12:25
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?

I’ve wasted so much time worrying. Life is too short to waste the moments we’ve been given. Trusting God means living fully today, believing that he’s big enough to take care of what happens tomorrow. Worrying steals the joy out of life. I want to trust God completely so I can live this life abundantly.

Psalm 56:3-4, 10-11

But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?

This I know: God is on my side! I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?

She calls me from the airport.

She’s out of breath with excitement, and I’m breathing for the first time in two hours.

In the Tomb

Go back for a little while and remember the dreams you had for your life as a little girl. What did you imagine your life would look like? Who did you hope you would be? What grand goals did you promise yourself you would accomplish? 

Now look at your life today—in this very moment. Do the two pictures add up?  Probably not. What dreams have been shattered? What goals were swept away in the storms of the passing years? What image of yourself have you not lived up to? These are important questions to ask ourselves. If we want to live, and I mean really live, then we have to look life straight in the eye and embrace how short it has fallen from our expectations. Life has a way of wringing out our hearts like a wet rag. Time is often like an anchor dragging through the sand, etching the past into an unforgettable trail behind us. At least that’s how I feel a lot of the time. 

If we’re honest with ourselves, we will admit that life as we know it ain’t so swell most of the time. Even in those moments where everything feels good--you know, those moments when you look into your newborn baby’s eyes, say I Do, watch the stars come out at night, catch a glimpse of a butterfly taking flight, or sit beneath the shade of a giant oak tree, there is still a longing for more. Those moments don’t last. Security is so unstable. Pain is always lurking in the shadows.

Jesus offers us Life. But our disappointments rise out of unmet expectations. We want to be happy. The Life that Jesus offers isn’t necessarily happiness.  This is part of that life, but that’s not where it’s found. The Life Jesus gives just might be found in the last place we would think to look. Life is found in death. The bad news: Death isn’t fun. The good news: Jesus has the power to give us a resurrected life. Not a life that feels good all of the time. Not a life that always goes our way. I’m talking about real, lasting, does not change based on our circumstances, amazing, no turning back kind of Life. Life doesn’t show up on the mountain of happiness. Rather, we find it in the depths of our brokenness, the slime of our sinfulness, and the anguish of our hopelessness. Life is offered in exchange for a beat up, wrung out, soul-sick mess.

Lazarus found real life. Yet he found it in the most unexpected place: a tomb. It was in the midst of the darkness, the disappointment, the fear, and the hopelessness that Jesus offered him LIFE. He is offering it to you today.

John 11:25 (The Message)

You don't have to wait for the End. I am, right now, Resurrection and Life. The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live.

Have you ever found yourself in a tomb?  Maybe you’re in one right now. Sometimes the circumstances of life encompass our hearts in the shroud of a grave. Other times we wrap ourselves in the darkness of our own sin and despair. Either way, we can’t escape the reality that there’s nothing worse than being buried alive. It’s in a tomb, however, that we realize what being alive actually means. For many of us, we think we’re alive, but in reality we’re walking around lifeless, unresponsive…as good as dead. 

“What’s the point,” we whisper to ourselves in the dark.  “Life is just one disappointment after another.” 

Have you ever felt like this? The tombs of life are the places we ask ourselves, and God, the questions that seem too dangerous out in the open. 

Jesus didn’t leave Lazarus in the tomb. He called his name, and his life was never the same.

John 11:43
Then Jesus shouted, “Lazarus, come out!”

What tomb are you hiding in today?

Shame…Failure…Rejection…Disappointment…Guilt…Fear…Depression…

Jesus is calling your name today. Come out of your tomb. Come out and live!