A cheeseburger ruined my Sunday.
It’s true, my friends. Well, actually I let a cheeseburger ruin my Sunday.
As a mom who has the privilege of taking care of three little people and the wife of a traveling salesman, I don’t get out much. Now that I’m on a slow down and savor the moment path, I’ve been spending a lot of time making messes in the kitchen, jumping on the trampoline, and embarrassing my kids with my incredible dance moves. But if I’m totally honest, I have to tell you that sometimes I’m just exhausted from the weight I bear as a mother.
A dear friend celebrated her birthday on Saturday, and this always-late-to-everything-girl sat in the parking lot for twenty minutes waiting for everyone else to get there. Yes, that’s how hungry I was for conversation that doesn’t involve bodily functions and requests for justice to be handed out. All week I had dreamed of this night. More than the precious women I would spend time with, it was my grand dreams of a cheeseburger that I set my sights on. It didn’t bother me one bit that everyone else ordered a salad. I didn’t feel one tinge of guilt as I bit into all its juicy loveliness. Unwilling to let the moment end, I saved a quarter to take home.
There was a small part of me that thought for a moment of giving my long-awaited treasure to my husband, but I quickly pushed that thought aside. After all, he gets to eat out on the road every week, right?
At church yesterday, the pastor spoke on praise. He reminded us through a story in the book of Matthew that if God’s people don’t praise him, then the rocks will cry out. The congregation practically soared to their feet as we praised our Great God. I left excited about what God is doing. I wanted to dance. I wanted to raise my family up as a banner declaring the God’s praises.
A hungry stomach tends to get in the way of great intentions.
When we got home, that always-thinking-of-others guy I married began to make lunch for the little people. My mind raced to the cheeseburger waiting in the refrigerator. But it wasn’t there. It was on the counter. I grabbed for it greedily. Someone else had the same thought.
“Just one bite, please?”
“Okay, but tiny.”
And that man took half of my quarter of a cheeseburger.
With my daughter standing there in attendance, I belly-ached like a baby, slammed the microwave, and stomped out of the room. All of my dreams of this cheeseburger fell crashing to the floor.
And it took me four hours to recover.
Ridiculous? Yes. Childish? Yes. Humiliating? Definitely. Beyond grace? Never
Have you ever been so hungry you did something crazy? Something you look back on and wish you could erase? I’m hungry, but not for cheeseburgers. I’m hungry for the living God who satisfies the deepest longings of my heart.
Psalm 81:10 says,
“Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things.”
I don’t seem to have any trouble opening my mouth. My mouth does just fine spewing out criticism, judgment, frustration, and demands. It also seems quite capable of opening to fill up on the temporary pleasures of this world.
How wide am I opening my mouth so the Bread of Life can fill it with the good things of Himself? Can my mouth even open wide enough to receive what He has for me? Is this the one time my mouth isn’t big enough?
Taste and see that the Lord is good. Psalm 34:8
2 comments:
Oh how I wish that I could be privy to the ridiculous dance moves! ;-) I hear you on this story! Many times the Holy Spirit gives me plenty of opportunities to check my flesh...but I barrel ahead into the "giving-in" zone. With much to apologize for later, I realize that my sensitivity and obedience to the Spirit is lacking. Love you, girl!
I totally had the same moment the other day with a little chocolate snack that I had got out and was preparing to eat when Garrett came along and ate the whole thing and left the wrapper. I think I called him a name...so this post made me laugh.
Post a Comment