MIRACLE
The word flashed across the despair in my soul like lightning across a black sky.
This would be the year of miracles. A promise given to a desperate heart.
The word came to me as I cried out to God for answers. I always ask God what the next year will hold. He always tells me, although I never see it fulfilled until the end. So, when I asked him this past January what the year 2013 would hold, his whisper rang clearly in my heart. MIRACLE.
Five situations in my life desperately needed a miracle. Clinging to the promise of THE miracle worker, I hoped expectantly that each of these situations would be redeemed in the year 2013.
So I believed. This would be the year of miracles.
So I prayed. This would be the year of miracles.
So I waited. This would hopefully be the year of miracles.
So I grew impatient. Maybe it wouldn’t be the year of miracles.
So I gave up hope. This clearly wasn’t the year of miracles.
Not only have these miracles not come to pass, some of them seem more hopeless than before. God felt distant. Silent. Inattentive to my prayers. Uncaring of my plight.
I begged God to do something. Show me your power! I believe! I believe you can part the Red Sea. I believe you can tear down the walls of Jericho. I believe you can slay a giant. I believe that you can conquer any enemy that comes against me. But what I need you to do right now is perform a couple miracles in my life!!!
And then came the whispers of doubt. If he cared about me, he would do this for me. Why would he give me a promise only to leave me disappointed? These miracles aren’t just shallow wishes. Not some things that I think will make my life happier or easier. These are heart-breaking, gut-wrenching problems that are sucking the life out of me.
A stranger in church on Sunday told me to read the gospel of John. He said God wanted to show me how much he loves me through it. I would rather he show me how much he loves me by doing what I want him to do.
But I listened. I read. And I gaped at what I discovered.
John 2:11
This miraculous sign at Cana in Galilee was the first time Jesus revealed his glory. And his disciples believed in him.
John 2:23
Because of the miraculous signs Jesus did in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration, many began to trust in him.
John 3:2
Your miraculous signs are evidence that God is with you.
John 4:48
Jesus asked, “Will you never believe in me unless you see miraculous signs and wonders?”
And then the whisper that’s been silent for so long, broke into the silence.
My child, for a year and a half I’ve been teaching you that you don’t have to perform for me.
But why do I have to perform for you?
You don’t need to perform to earn my favor. Why must I perform to earn your trust?
You don’t need to perform to be deserving of my blessing. Why must I perform to be deserving of your praise?
You don’t need to perform to win my presence. Why must I perform to win your heart?
This is the year of miracles. But maybe the miracle he was talking about was the miracle that would take place in me. For to trust completely when there is no miracle is perhaps the greatest miracle of all.
The heart that believes in his goodness when nothing good is happening around us.
The heart that is whole when life breaks into pieces.
The faith that stands firm when dreams are shattered.
The strength to keep moving when the way is shrouded in darkness.
These are the miracles that God will perform when we are ready to receive them. But these are the miracles that happen because we want HIM and not what he will do for us.
These are the miracles that part red seas, tear down walls, slay giants, defeat armies, release captives, raise the dead, open the eyes of the blind, and calm the raging storm. These are the miracles that awaken a soul that has for too long slept waiting for a miracle.
Of course I couldn’t hear his voice the past few months.
We will never know his heart when our gaze is fixed on his hand.
I believe in THE great miracle worker, and I won’t stop believing that he will redeem the brokenness around me. But for now I rejoice because he is redeeming the brokenness within me. And that is a miracle only Yahweh can perform.
